Be an Ideal Party Guest

"Happy 2009!" by Ginny is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

From Christmas to New Year’s Eve, you’ll surely be making the rounds at parties throughout the next couple of weeks. Whether it’s a boss or colleague you’re trying to impress or your friends and family, keep these tips (courtesy of Apartment Therapy) in mind and you will be at the top of the invite list next year!

DON'T:

1. Show up right on time.

For most people it's second nature to show up at least 15 minutes late to a big gathering, but the perpetually punctual may have trouble with this. If you find yourself arriving at party within 15 minutes of the stated start time, nip around the corner for a coffee, or hang out at a bookstore for a bit, or just sit in your car. This will give your host a little breathing room and ensure that you don't walk in on them doing frantic last minute preparations.

A few exceptions to the rule: dinner parties, where it's rude to show up more than 15 minutes late. And any party where you know the hostess very well and feel comfortable offering to help out — in that case your punctuality (or even earliness) will probably be welcomed.

2. Bring something that requires a lot of prep.

If you're bringing something to the party, good on you. But don't bring something that will require a ton of prep space or kitchen time on the party end. Chances are your host has been cooking all day and counter space in the kitchen is at a premium. If you're in there chopping things and looking for bowls and knives and whatnot, things can get chaotic.

3. ''Ghost' without saying goodbye to your host.

You don't have to make a big deal of announcing your exit to every guest at the party, but you should at least find your host and let them know that you had a lovely time but unfortunately you have to leave. This will keep them from fielding questions about what happened to so-and-so all night long.

DO:

1. RSVP.

The art of the RSVP is dead, y'all. The number one gripe I hear from friends who host parties is that people don't RSVP, or they do and then don't show up, so it's almost impossible to tell who is coming to your party and how much food you need. So if you get an invite to a party, and you think you'd like to go, click 'yes'. Really, it's not that hard.

2. Offer to bring something.

Chances are good that your host will say you don't need to bring anything at all, just yourself, but offering anyway is standard party etiquette. It's also a way to help your hostess defray the cost of the party, which sometimes can run pretty high. And if you are asked to bring something, for gosh sakes, don't take it home with you at the end of the night (unless your host specifically asks you to).

3. Talk to people you don't know.

Sure, all your friends are at the party. But these are all people you'll see again — how are you gonna meet new people if you just stick with your group all the time? Go by yourself to get food or drink — this is a pretty natural time to chat up people you don't know. Talking to new people is also a HUGE favor to your hostess, who will have to worry less about guests who don't know a lot of people at the party.

4. Say thanks.

Throwing parties is lots of fun, but it's also hard work. And when you work hard at something, it's nice to have somebody else say: hey, thanks. Good job. Traditional etiquette dictates that you send a mailed thank-you note to your host: in modern times, this might seem a little over the top, but thanking your hostess when you leave (and maybe even in an email or text message the next day) will always be appreciated.

Plan a Cost-Effective Move

"No Thanks, I'm Full" by CJ Sorg is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Whether you’re moving across town or across the country, the process of moving is not cheap. If you’re on a budget and looking to cut costs, there are some pitfalls you can avoid and tips to keep in mind to help you get to most “move” for your money! Consider this advice from Apartment Guide as you plan your move and share your tips with us in the comments!

Don’t Buy Boxes

While this bit of advice is the simplest (and arguably the most common tip you’ll hear when moving), the impact of grabbing your boxes and other moving materials for free can’t be overstated. Local retailers, online personal ads and many more avenues will often offer a virtually infinite amount of free cardboard boxes and other leftover shipping materials completely free of charge—the only prerequisite generally being that you come and get them yourself.

Opt for the Off Season

If you have any control over the time of year that you and your family move, it can be a surprisingly wise choice to move during the months that the moving industry refers to as “off season.” May 15 to September 15 mark the busiest time of year for movers, and this bustling season comes with larger moving quotes to accommodate the high demands and higher temperatures.

Scheduling your move during the off season outside this summer rush can prove financially advantageous (and not having to lug your boxes underneath a hot summer sun is certainly a nice bonus.)

Plan for Distance

Rates and billing methods across movers have the propensity to vary largely, and the potential expenses quoted for many can be a source of confusion. It’s important to factor details such as distance and proximity into your choice of mover—long distances can give rise to the greatest spikes in the cost of your moving quote if not accounted for properly.

If you’re set to move to a new city, state, or beyond, you may find it advantageous to consider movers that place an emphasis on long-distance travel. International movers can often offer better rates for cross-country moves, due to the fact that their infrastructure and business model are better equipped to handle large demands when it comes to gas, lodging and more.

Reach Out to Friends

It may surprise you how much it can ease the stress and financial strain of moving by simply reaching out to a handful of friends—even just one or two extra hands helping you pack can be the difference between a disaster and a great memory.

Having a few close friends help you through the DIY aspects like packing and setting up your new place will save you valuable time and resources, leaving you with more flexibility to move with. Just be sure to thank them with refreshments, impromptu housewarming parties, or other informal tips.

5 Home Items You Don’t Actually Need

"Alessi Dinnerware" by Didriks is licensed under CC BY 2.0

You’re in the home goods store looking for items for your apartment. You’re surrounded by everything from towels, to cutting boards, to “as seen on TV items.” So what things do you truly need and which things should you never spend money on (Hint: You’ll never need the “as seen on TV” items)? Apartment Therapy offers this advice:

Top sheet — Are you hip to this trend? I'm on board (Teresa is too). Forgoing a top sheet has made zero difference in my sleeping comfort, but a major difference in my laundry load and morning bed-making time. I'm a convert.

Place settings for 12 — Every registry will encourage you to stock up, but don't do it. Chances are, if you're ever expecting 12 people at once, there will be ample notice to arrange to borrow or rent enough china and silver. And in the (probably long) interim between your epic dinner parties, you won't have to devote storage space to your huge collection of dishware.

Specialized cleaning products —Every cleaning line wants to convince you that you need to buy many different lotions and potions to get each specific part of your home clean. An extra-strength disposal bomb to get it lemony fresh? Why not just try a lemon? Or...VINEGAR.

Matching nightstands or lamps — Of course retailers will try to convince you to shell out for two instead of one, but don't blindly buy what you might not need. Ask yourself, do both sides of your bed need the same storage? The same lighting situation? Do you even like the look of a matching set? If the answer is no then you're probably a candidate for an unusual nightstand.

ALL the knives — Why buy a set and let the store choose which knives you get? Pare down your collection to the ones you know you'll use and love. (Hint: you probably just need a chef's knife, paring knife and bread knife, says the Kitchn)

What apartment items do you have that you wish you didn't spend the money on?

Host a Holiday Happy Hour

"Cocktail anyone?" by Dana Moos is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Whether you’re hosting Thanksgiving or want to have friends and family from out-of-town over for a gathering, happy hour is the way to go! Why? It’s cheaper, more casual and less stressful - especially if you’re cooking Thanksgiving dinner, too. Follow this advice from The Kitchn for a happy Happy Hour!

1. Buy your appetizers.

The last thing you need is one more recipe to make! Pick up some shrimp and set it out with a quality cocktail sauce. Buy some nice pickles and ask a friend to set them out with good crackers. Keep it easy.

2. Ask someone else to bring the appetizer.

Or, instead of buying the appetizer at all, delegate your most prompt and on-time friend to get to your house a little early with a platter of something tasty.

3. Pitcher cocktails are the way to go!

If you want to go past beer and wine, then don't just set out a few bottles of booze. Make a pitcher cocktail the night before; no mixing, no shaking, and very festive!

Get a recipe: Perfect for Thanksgiving: 9 Fall Sangrias

4. Keep the appetizers very light.

Think crunchy and cold, not savory and hot. Think pickles, not cheese balls. Think shrimp, not hot dip. For our California Thanksgiving Outdoors we made some simple boards or relish trays with pickles, light chickpea dip with fresh vegetables for dipping, and some crackers. All very easy and pretty! Read some more of our readers' favorite Thanksgiving appetizers here:

Thanksgiving appetizers: What Are the Best Appetizers for Thanksgiving Day?

5. Designate a host to keep an eye on appetizers and drinks.

Last but not least, you shouldn't be refilling ice buckets or sangria pitchers while trying to make gravy. Designate your partner or a friend to play host and make sure everyone is having a good time with a glass topped off.

Try These Tricks in Your Living Room

"IMG_1016" by Shawn Cornelius is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Holiday decorating usually leads to rearranging some furniture, which doesn’t sound like a lot of fun on the surface. However, this allows you the opportunity to experiment with the layout of the room and its furniture. Or maybe you’ve been looking for an excuse to switch things around, so you should take advantage of the opportunity! Try these tips from Apartment Therapy, and who knows, you may love your new layout so much that you decide to keep the Christmas tree up year-round!  

1. If you have room, pulling your furniture away from the wall can make conversational groupings seem cozier, and the room seem a lot more spacious.

2. Try replacing your coffee table with a smaller table, big enough to hold a book and a few drinks, that can move around the room. The space freed up by the coffee table will make your living room seem a lot bigger.

3. A bookcase behind the sofa is a great way to add a little texture — and a little storage — to your living room. (Naturally, things you don't use as much go directly behind the couch.)

4. Mixing old and new pieces is a great way to add energy to any room.

5. Balance heavier pieces with lighter ones to keep a space from feeling too clunky. The lighter pieces in this room — the coffee and side tables — provide a nice counterpoint the sofa and dresser.

6. Hang a picture ledge above your sofa for a statement-y look. If you get tired of your current pieces, you can easily switch them out.

7. Color is the key to mixing a lot of things together in a harmonious way. There's a lot going on in this living room, but the preponderance of white keeps all the different elements from becoming too overwhelming.

8. Every room can benefit from a touch of gold.

9. Keeping everything low (including the art) is a great trick to make a room look bigger.

10. Paired chairs don't have to match — try mixing two pieces from a similar era with different shapes.

11. When in doubt, add a little bit of black.

10 Thanksgiving Best Practices

"Thanksgiving dinner" by japharl is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Thanksgiving is a day for food, family and fun - not stress. Whether you’re hosting Thanksgiving for the first time or the tenth time, sometimes you need a few reminders to put the day into perspective, instead of running around the kitchen frantically. Keep these pointers from Apartment Therapy in mind as  you plan your Thanksgiving dinner.

1. Modest is Perfect

Thanksgiving is the most modest of holidays (and one of the few shared by all) and doesn't want to be decorator fancy. It wants to be about gratefulness for plentiful food at harvest time and survival after a long year in the New World. With this in mind, focus on the food and keep your decor seasonal, simple and harvest based. This is not about glitter and bling, people!

2. Leaves, Branches & Berries

Every table I've ever decorated has been done with what I've found outside on the day. The raw and authentic shapes and colors in leaves, branches and berries (and flowers, sometimes, when down south) are stunning and simple reminders of this special time of year.

3. Eat Early - When The Sun's Still Up

I am a big fan of skipping lunch on Thanksgiving day and having an early supper. It shifts the momentum of the day, makes it a much more relaxed meal and allows the food to settle long before bedtime. As a rule of thumb, I recommend sitting down before sunset (4:30pm is sunset this year), so invite folks for 3pm and sit down before 4pm, and you're golden. For those that like to take a walk after the meal, start 30-60 min earlier!

4. Sit Close & Have a Long Table

For most dinner parties I worry about having too many people around a table or being too tight in my home. Not so Thanksgiving. Invite the people you love, take in strays and don't worry that everyone is sitting shoulder to shoulder. If you can get everyone at a long table and get them close to one another it will be intimate, cozy and great.

5. Move Between Courses

With a long meal like this you really have the luxury of taking your time and creating natural breaks between courses. This stimulates conversation and digestion. Start with drinks on the sofa, then sit at the table and then retire to the kitchen or living room again for or before dessert. Go for a walk before dessert even and let the kids run around. Don't rush it!

6. Passing: Many Sides, Little Dishes

Thanksgiving is a meal of side dishes and there's a huge advantage to this. If you serve family style, have people bring their favorite dishes and then get some crazy passing going around your table you will have MORE fun. The complication and multiplicity of this type of collaborative meal is what Thanksgiving is all about, and the passing of dishes engenders new levels of communication and social bonding.

7. Enjoy Dark Colors

Personally, I'm a big fan of diving into the deep colors of Autumn when decorating the table or the room and think that only Thanksgiving - of all holidays - gives full license for this. Dark colors are warm and cozy, so add to your leaves, branches and berries with dark napkins, tablecloths, flowers, candles, plates or dishes.

8. Read Something Aloud

Beyond giving a toast and because this is not a religious holiday, a birthday or an specific historical person involved, I love to center the meal around reading one thing aloud. Of course you can say grace, but reading something aloud that puts the meal in context and brings up the images associated with the real historical time in which it grew out of is a nice way of bringing everyone together. There are many poems about Thanksgiving, and if you want a really nicely written history, this one from The Writer's Almanac is one of my favorites:

"Today is Thanksgiving Day. In the fall of 1621, the Plymouth colonists had barely survived the previous winter and had lost about half their population. The Wampanoag people and their chief, Massasoit, were friendly toward the Pilgrims and helped teach them how to live on different land with new food sources. A man known as Squanto, a Patuxet living with the Wampanoag tribe, knew English because he had been a slave in England. He taught the settlers how to plant corn, beans, and squash and how to catch eel and shellfish. The Pilgrims built seven houses, a meeting place, and storehouses full of food, so they invited the Wampanoag Indians to feast with them. Harvest festivals were nothing new; both the English and the Wampanoag had similar traditions in their culture.

At the first Thanksgiving, they didn't eat mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie, and they probably didn't even eat turkey. The only two foods that are actually named in the primary accounts are wild fowl and venison. The meal was mostly meat and seafood, but probably included squash, cabbage, corn, and onions, and spices like cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and pepper.

Unlike our modern Thanksgiving, this event wasn't just one day. Many of the Wampanoag had to walk two days to get to the Plymouth settlement. There were about 50 English people and 90 Wampanoag, and since there wasn't enough room in the seven houses for the guests, they went ahead and built themselves temporary shelters. In between eating, they played games and sports, danced, and sang.
Thanksgiving has been celebrated as a national holiday on different dates, but on October 3, 1863, in the wake of victory at Gettysburg, President Abraham Lincoln decided to issue a Thanksgiving Proclamation declaring the fourth Thursday in November national Thanksgiving Day. In 1941, Congress made it official."

9. Make Something

In keeping with the modest tone and family centered feeling of the holiday, making something for the table or the guests is a great idea. Anything is good, and you can simply carve out gourds to place votive candles in them or make place cards. Here is a list of a whole bunch of good DIY's. I also love the little one I found in the picture above: carve out some apples and serve a good strong drink or mulled cider in them!

10. Kid's Table

If you're doing Thanksgiving with kids, give them their own table. I know that I said to seat everyone together, but I think young and old alike always appreciate their own space to have the meal at their own pace. I also think that children appreciate being a little independent at Thanksgiving and helping one another instead of having their parents wait on them. A Kid's table is an opportunity to have some fun and even have your kids help you set it up. When they run off to play, you won't have to collapse your seating at the main table to get closer to one another.

Pumpkin Pie Mug Cake

Photo courtesy Faith Durand, The Kitchn

The snow is falling and it’s beginning to feel like holiday season. We still have a couple of weeks to go until Thanksgiving, but that doesn’t mean you can’t indulge a little today! One of the things we look forward to most is the home-made pumpkin pie. This is a great recipe from The Kitchn to use if either cannot wait for Thanksgiving, or to file away for the rest of winter when you need a comforting dessert!

Pumpkin Pie Mug Cake

Makes 1

1 teaspoon unsalted butter

14 grams gingersnaps (2 small cookies), crushed into 2 tablespoons of crumbs

1/3 cup pumpkin puree

1 large egg

1 tablespoon milk or cream

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice

Place the butter in a microwave-safe mug that holds at least 10 ounces, and microwave on LOW until melted. Stir in the crushed gingersnaps and press the mixture firmly into the bottom of the mug.

In a separate small bowl, whisk together the pumpkin puree, egg, milk or cream, brown sugar, and pumpkin pie spice. Pour into mug with the gingersnap "crust."

Place the mug on a microwave-safe plate. Microwave on full power for 2 to 5 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center of the mug pie comes out clean. The top may look slightly damp but it will set as it cools. (Cooking time will vary greatly depending on your microwave and the width and depth of the mug. Start with 2 minutes and continue cooking in 30-second increments until it is done.)

Use a hot pad or oven mitt to carefully remove the mug from the microwave. Let it stand for a couple minutes to cool, then top, if desired, with whipped cream and crushed nuts before eating.

Recipe Notes

Doubling the recipe: You can double this recipe, but only cook one mug pie in the microwave at a time.